'Squirrels in the Attic'
COMEDY SONGS FOR ADULTS!
PLEASE NOTE! THIS ALBUM IS NOT FOR KIDS!!!
WARNING: This CD contains obscene language, gratuitous depictions of violence, rude references to perverse sexual acts, disparaging remarks about Republicans and an irresponsible endorsement of illegal substances. Parental discretion is advised.
So, any kids who may have accidentally wound up on this webpage by mistake, I'm afraid you'll just have to wait until you're a little older before you're allowed to listen to these horrible, disgusting songs, as they are bound to have a corrupting influence on your innocent minds. And don't try sneaking into your parents room to borrow their CD either, because, if you are under the age of 14, why then these songs are so awful and shocking that they will cause your ears to fall off! And then, of course, you're sunglasses would slide right off your nose and your hat would drop over your eyes! A sorry sight.
But as for the rest of you responsible adults, if you're worried about global warming or the coming ice age, if you contemplate wreaking serious havoc upon your next-door neighbors, if you're anxious about the implications of human cloning, if your spouse knows what you're thinking before you do, if you're perpetually perplexed about the middle-east muddle, if today's incessantly depressing headlines causes you to miss Monica Lewinsky, if you wonder 'what in the world' this wonderful world is coming to, if you occasionally indulge in an herbal remedy or if a constant barrage of email spam has finally caused you to question whether or not you, uh, measure up... well, then this album is for you. That's right! This album will solve all your problems, relieve stress and anxiety, prevent dandruff, increase your sex drive and help you save money for your retirement. O.K. It'll help me save money for my retirement, but it will make you laugh next time you need a good chuckle. For example: say you've just been fired from your job, your girlfriend's left you, she cleaned out your bank account and you find out your dog was just pretending to be your best friend. Troubled? Morose? No problem! Just flip on my new CD 'Squirrels in the Attic' and everything will be O.K. Gain a fresh perspective, acquire a positive new outlook. Don't delay. Life is short. Global warming is more than just a theory! In other words...
COMEDY SONGS FOR ADULTS!
Questions, comments, and suggestions to Dean