DeanMail - May 2013 - Spring Survey Results

Hi Folks,

This newsletter issue is dedicated to a small, hairy primate named, Amelia, a capuchin monkey with a sweet soul and a feisty nature who lived with us for 33 years and passed peacefully last week.

She was diminutive in stature but was an enormous presence in our lives. And it's no exaggeration to say, she brought joy wherever she went! ;-)

She was the real pop-star in the family! She appeared in a movie - a horror film titled, Monkeyshines - in TV commercials and in even in fashion magazines!

We'll miss her, but are happy in the knowledge that she was very much loved and lived a good, long, monkey life!

Survey Results

Animal Names

Not surprisingly, some of the most interesting responses to my Spring Survey were to the question: ...What kind of animals do you live with and what are their names?                

It's clear from the hundreds of enthusiastic responses that many of you share our love of animals. There were too many replies to include 'em all, but I thought you might enjoy hearing these few favorites....

A cat named, Skippy, aka He Who Must Be Adored!

A cat named Splodge.

A cat named Squeezle.

A cat named Zippy.

4 cats named, Chopstick, Noodle. Dyson & Bendix.

There's Doodle, the dog, and Licorice and Smudge, the cats.

A black Labrador called, Jazz.

A rabbit named, Marmite.

A Cocker Spaniel named Lady and two cats Poppy and Smudge.

In fact, there were an awful lot of Poppy's of every description and a surprising number of Molly's too! Who knew?

A worrying number of folks volunteered their spouses, significant others, and even their children - mostly of the teen variety - as 'wild animals', 'hairy beasts' and 'real dogs'! ;-)

There's also, Charley the slightly crazy ADHD dog and S.P.G. the killer hamster.

There were dogs, Tilly, Meg and Murphy; a cat called Max; rats, Krispy and Kreme; a nameless hamster; chickens, Ruby, Pepe, Liza and Babs and two horses, Gumpy and Moomin and a recently passed donkey named, Frank.

Another hamster named,  Gadget.

Two other hamsters named, Maiya and Pipsqueak.

And even another hamster named, Waffles!

Lots of beloved pets came with assorted nicknames...

a pug named, Stanley, aka Pugly Ugly.

two cats, Molly, aka Molly Moomins or Mooninetti; and Fluffy, aka Fufflepufflemufflewuffles or Fliffity Fluffity! (obviously a budding lyricist)

A few people listed assorted insects and vermin inhabiting their abodes, but complained they were too numerous to name.

And one person ventured, 'a rather old pot of natural yoghurt in my fridge that seems to have become sentient. Does that count?' ;-)

Laser Harps & Floogles

I feel some explanation is in order regarding answers to the question: Which of the following musical instruments did Dean not invent? Honkblatt, Laser Harp, Booble, Tone Stones, Boing-D-Boing, Jingle-Lingle-Lilies, Floogle.

Most folks correctly recalled that I did, indeed, invent a Booble, Tone Stones, Boing-D-Boing and Jingle-Lingle-Lilies for the Eureka! Children's Museum in Halifax, England. The two top contenders for which instruments I did not invent were: Laser Harp and Floogle.

The answer I was looking for was Floogle, a made-up name which sounded silly enough to be part of my Music Atrium ensemble. However, I recognize that some folks might have mistaken Floogle for a flugelhorn, an actual brass instrument that resembles a mellow trumpet. As far as the Laser Harp, to be precise, I didn't actually invent the first Laser Harp. According to Wikipedia, a guy named Geoffrey Rose took out the first Laser Harp patent in 1975. And musician, Jean Michel Jarre, performed on one on stage as early as 1981.

To the best of my knowledge though, I did invent the first public-accessible Laser Harp for the Eureka! Children's Museum in 1992. Because it was intended to be played by children, it was specifically designed with a 6" plexi-glass access slot which allowed children to strum the beams of light but kept them from sticking their heads inside the instruments and therefore prevented them from looking directly at the laser beams. Believe me, I researched this very carefully, and sought expert advice from assorted scientists/physicists, as I concluded that my music exhibit would not be very well received if my Laser Harp wound up slicing tiny fingers off and blinding everyone that played it! (Note: this was over a decade before you could by a laser-pen for 5 bucks in any stationary store.)

In any event, the choices in this question were admittedly confusing, thus the above convoluted explanation.

New Project(s)

I wasn't too surprised that the majority of folks responding to this survey supported the idea of a New Dean Friedman Album, Concert DVD and a Tour w/ a Band, ahead of all the other choices. But I have to say, I am truly touched by the number of folks who expressed cheerful and enthusiastic support for my idea to construct 'The 'Worlds Largest Toothpick'.

As anyone who knows me well is aware, I was only half-kidding. So, to the great relief (I'm sure) of my family and close friends, my 'World's Largest Toothpick' project will be put on the back-burner for the foreseeable future, in spite of what a brilliant idea it actually is! ;-)

Which means I'm still left to decide what project or projects to take on next - Album? Band Tour? Song-Book(s)? 'Smelly Feet' Tour? Your feedback has been invaluable, but there are still a few considerations I need to factor into the equation before I make a final decision. I promise you'll be the first to know!

Dancing Dolphins vs Wiggling Whales

In response to the question: Do you know why 'The Dolphins Were Dancing'? a plurality of you got it right - because man had finally become extinct.

  • because Flipper finally got his long-awaited invitation to Dancing With the Stars.  8%
  • because their Miami-based football team finally won their league division by a 34 to 0 shutout.  9%
  • because the 'Whales Were Wiggling'.  26%
  • because man had finally become extinct.  30%
  • because they'd been invited by their octopus neighbors to the an under-the-sea 'rave' where a hip, eight-tentacled DJ was spinning '90's electronica and passing out electric eels, otherwise known as Ee's.  27%


Although, an alarming number of you guessed, 'the Whales Were Wiggling' as well as the equally disconcerting, 'Octopus Rave'.

Which leads me to conclude that many more of you need to go online right now and order your own copy of my double-CD, 'Songs for Grownups', a 28 track studio album - one I'm particularly proud of - which contains the track, 'The Dolphins Were Dancing', along with many other cool tunes including Saturday Fathers, Jennifer's Baby, Don't Mourn, Don't Cry, Sandy and Hob Nobbin'. As it happens I just manufactured a new run of 'Songs for Grownups', so there's a ton of 'em just sitting and waiting, ready to be shipped to your (or your neighbors') doorstep at a moments notice! order CD's.

Killer Attack Spiders

Apparently, I'm not the only one with a woodpecker problem, as a good number of your were interested in purchasing your own giant killer attack spiders. Other contenders were touch-sensitive doormats for pets and, of course, those ever-useful light-caps. I'm taking all of this into consideration. But by far, most of you were interested in the prospect of a reissued vinyl LP of "Well, Well," Said the Rocking Chair. I'm currently looking into this.

Survey Summary

In summary, I would have to conclude that we all have way too much time on our hands, as evidenced by the fact that (1) I concocted this absurd survey, and (2) that approximately 430 of you good folks bothered to fill it out!

I am heartened by this clear-cut commitment to inaneness and whimsy. The world would be a much more dismal place without it. Oh, and thanks for all the kind words of support so many of you included in the comment section. It means a lot.

So, stay tuned for upcoming project announcements. 

Meanwhile, I'm sure you'll all be glad to know that, according to this scientifically conducted survey...

...all of you stole the pickle from the pickle jar! (not me, couldn't be)

By the way, tickets to my musical, 'Dean Friedman's Smelly Feet' - a children's musical that really stinks!, are now on sale on the Edinburgh Fringe Box Office: The show will run from August 1st thru 25th (not Wednesdays). I'm also doing my regular concert run at the Fringe, 'Dean Friedman - Words & Music' and tickets can be purchased via the Fringe box office or my website:

In fact, as you may already have surmised, tickets to all of my upcoming US, UK & Ireland tour dates can be ordered in the GIG section of my website: (Have I mentioned that it really makes a difference when folks purchase their tickets early? Oh, I have? Sorry! ;-) 

More news to come next issue. 'til then...

Have a great weekend, everybody!

And don't forget to give your favorite critter (or spouse) an affectionate scratch on the head, unless, they're like... a fish or protozoa, or something like that, in which case, just nod and smile lovingly!

See ya!



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